Divorce Without A Lawyer

Unfortunately, not all cases are advisable for a do-it-yourself divorce, and in some cases, it could be legal suicide to go at it on your own without legal counsel.  If these scenarios describes your case, contact our firm for a free consultation before you do anything else.  

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• Aggressive, Controlling, or Manipulating Attorney on the Other Side

  • Yes, some attorneys can be intimidating and aggressive.  Many of those kinds of attorneys will rationalize their behavior as "zealously" fighting for their client - a term of art that the Supreme Court has done away with as many were using it as a license to be...for lack of another word, abusive.  This kind of behavior should take no part in the professionalism and decorum that the Court requires - in or out of the courtroom.  If you are dealing with this type of personality from your spouse's attorney, you will need legal counsel to keep the case progressing forward.  

• Complex Custody Issues​

  • Any issues of Domestic Violence or Child Abuse​

    • If you allege domestic violence or child abuse, it is important to maintain boundaries​ with the other spouse/parent - which is often difficult to accomplish if neither of you are represented by an attorney.   Hiring a law firm will keep the safety boundaries in place, and push forward for supervised parenting time for any child-related abuse.  Unless the abusive parent is absent, it is also not advisable to take on this scenario without legal counsel.

    • It bears repeating, if DCS has substantiated a claim against a parent, it should not be a DIY case.

    • Is the other spouse/parent, controlling, manipulative, and emotionally abusive?  Have you struggled for years trying to have a voice in the relationship only to have been struck down (figuratively speaking)?  Usually in these types of cases, the innocent spouse is still not strong enough to thwart these attacks or effectively litigate for him/herself in court.  While you are just getting your footing, this is not the time to be representing yourself in final, lasting orders.  

  • Documented Abuse of Drugs or Alcohol, including criminal convictions, or a pattern in and out of rehab​

    • Alcoholism (as way of limiting parenting time) must be proven, and it is not enough to simply make the assertion without proof.  While it may have worked in your cousin's case, judges have discretion as to when they are swayed by the facts - some judges require a strong showing before limiting a parent's access to a child.  Usually when drugs or alcohol is involved there are other issues that arise as well.​

  • Denial of Parenting Time for extended periods

    • If the other parent has been denying your parenting time, or has limited your access to be involved in the child's life, it can create issues that require therapeutic intervention.  We see this often in paternity cases where mom has shut dad out until the court forces her to do otherwise.  Again, this can depend on what type of therapeutic intervention is needed to reintegrate the parent-child relationship, if any at all.  However, you are also fighting a consistency standard which could make the current situation a formal order.  The risk is just too great.​

  • Older Children that are less bonded to you​

    • The court has a process to allow the wishes of older children to be known, and to be considered by the court in making rulings on parenting time.  However, in this interview process, if a child is old enough to make her own decision, but is less bonded with you or prefers the comfort of her own room at the other parent's home, you are already walking in disadvantaged.

  • ​Serious behavioral health or mental health issues

    • It does not matter who has the behavioral/mental health issues - children or parents - this will complicate your court case, and there are specific legal processes where the court can become involved.  ​

  • Defending Attacks Against You for Primary Custody, Sole Custody, or Supervised Parenting Time​​

    • If you are on the receiving end of attacks on your parenting time, it is not enough to simply tell the judge that you are entitled to equal parenting time.  In many cases - depending on the circumstances of your case - there are certain things that must be done to overcome presumpti0ns against equal parenting time.  ​

  • Finally, the buzzword, narcissistic personality or tendencies

    • It used to be "parental alienation" was the new buzzword of the courtroom, and judges got very sick of it. Why? Because every parent was alleging the other was alienating him/her from the child.  Now, the torch has passed, and the new buzzword is my spouse is a narcissist.  Narcissist personality disorder is a mental health /behavioral disorder that requires a psychiatrist to diagnose, and most of the accusations of narcissism remain unconfirmed; the judges know this.  They also know that it is widely overused.  However - and a big however, this does not mean that your scenario is not plagued with an actual narcissist, full of lack of empathy, and a superiority complex - a need for adoration and overwhelming entitlement.  These behaviors do spillover into the court case, often leading to a long list of assaults on your character in a series of legal attacks.  This is not for the faint hearted, and it is not advisable to do so without legal counsel.    ​

• ​Fights Over Substantial Assets & Special Money Issues

  • In most cases (but not every case), the assets and debts will be pooled together and divided equally, even retirement assets and bank accounts in just one spouse's name.  But sometimes spouses will fight for a bigger chunk of assets, and even allege that you committed waste of an asset to accomplish it.  ​

  • ​Adoption Subsidies and Children's Social Security benefits have a special treatment under the law in determining support.  ​

 

If any of these issues are present in your case, it may be a difficult road to navigate without someone representing you who is experienced and knowledgeable.  However, many people decide to do it alone because the cost of legal representation has been prohibitively expensive - but affordability does not have to mean discount.  Code 4 Legal offers a Legal Paraprofessional who can represent you in family law litigation in much of the same ways that a divorce attorney would, but at a much lower rate. 

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